Greetings, one and all!
Life. It’s gotten a little crazy recently, right? I’m sure it is for all of you. For me, quarantine or self-isolation hasn’t been too bad, honestly, and I am sad that isn’t the case for many. For most, I think! I generally stay at home for the most part, but I have missed church. And I had a TON of events planned for April and May that haven’t or won’t happen, but it still doesn’t feel very different.
There have, however, been some times of intense struggle.
You see, a pandemic with regulations does wreak havoc on one’s wedding. Especially if that wedding is really big. Especially if you’ve invited nearly everyone you know, and you have a million plans and a million purchases. As I’m sure you know, our wedding has been in a bit of turmoil. Will we be able to have it? How many people could come? Would the venue cancel? Would it even be wise to have it at the venue?
Well, after a lot of prayer, many tears, discussion, and ideas, we reached a verdict. Realizing that it was likely that gatherings of more than 10 would still be restricted by the end of May, and knowing that even if they weren’t, it probably wouldn’t be wise to have it at the venue, we made a tentative plan B. The plan was to essentially uninvite all our guests, letting them know that only immediate family (our parents and siblings) would be at our wedding, held at my family home, and we would still be getting married on the original date.
I called up my bridesmaids on Zoom and basically said – “I want you to come – but I don’t know if it will be legal, so you might not be able to.”
And as I began to realize all the restrictions, I began to realize that it was likely even Allison, my best friend, may not be able to come.
I cried for almost a week.
If we could have one person on each side in the wedding party, it would be my brother and one of Andrew’s sisters – who were already in the wedding party. It was the best idea; of course, we need our siblings to be there. But the very thought that my best friend, the girl who is closer than a sister, who knows me inside and out, who was going to be my maid of honor ever since we became best friends, long before I was even in a relationship – might not be able to be there? Stand beside me? On the biggest day of my life since I accepted Christ? That just tore my heart into pieces. I cried more than I’ve cried in a very long time. In fact, I think I cried more than I ever have in the span of a week.
And I still realize now that we could be under restrictions – maybe even tighter restrictions – by the end of May. Only God knows. But I am happy to announce that with Trump’s plans for reopening the country, we think it is likely we can have more than ten people by the end of May. So, we reinvited our bridal party. Our venue generously canceled and refunded us (praise God!), and we’re having the wedding at my house. There will be more standing up next to us than there will be in chairs as guests, but that’s okay – our best friends are going to be there, and our closest family, and that’s what matters. We won’t have a dinner reception, we’ll have an afternoon tea (surprised?), and we won’t get awesome sparkler photos as we leave, or even golden hour photos. But we’re going to get married, and Lord willing our family and friends will be there, and you know? That’s really all that matters to me.
To be perfectly honest, I’m more excited about this plan than plan A! While I’m sad that many of our friends will just have to join on Zoom (and you can too!!), I literally could never imagine myself at the wedding venue. I’ve always wanted to get married on the farm, but we were always thinking outside – which is super unpredictable. Now that we’re only having a few people, we can have it inside, and my home is always where family celebrations are! I’ve always envisioned myself getting ready in my own room, and because I deal with some sensory overload, I’m really glad it will be at a place I know well and am comfortable in, with few people. Really, that’s far more true to me than a big fancy wedding, but that wouldn’t have worked with all the people we wanted to invite.
This plan is old-fashioned and intimate, and I really am happy.
God is good. There were times when it felt like the roof was falling down on our heads, but you know? He held us up. Nothing is entirely certain; we don’t know when this will end. We don’t know what the economy will do, we don’t know what restrictions will still be in place by the end of May. We don’t know what our first months of marriage will look like with this either. Food insecurity is also a thing, and a much bigger thing since I won’t be living on a farm anymore. However, this has certainly shown us that we MUST trust God for everything. And keep trusting! We have just over a month left. There’s no telling what can happen this month, or next month, or any month afterwards.
It’s easier in theory, I know. And it’s incredibly easy to fail. But God is with us, and He will sustain us.