On hold


The world is on hold right now. At least, that’s what it feels like.

I don’t know how the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting you all. Maybe you’re like I was, a couple days ago. Food is flying off the shelves, no toilet paper, you watch things explode and you stay home, but nothing is directly affecting you.

I just took a break right now from packing. Not packing clothes in a suitcase. I thought I’d be doing that on Tuesday the 17th. I was going to fly out to visit Andrew on the 19th, stay with his sister, visit his parents’ farm and see where he grew up.

Well, this morning, those plans were canceled. It’s safer if Andrew drives out to see me, because all he’ll have to do is pump gas. He won’t have to be in contact with many people. And it’s not that I’m worried about getting sick. I’m healthy. I’d recover quickly. But I have grandparents here. And a great-grandma. No, it’s a bit of a risk.

So what packing was I doing? I was packing things off my bookshelf. I was packing books I didn’t think I’d pack for another five weeks or so. But Andrew and I talked, and decided that we ought to pack up as many things as possible and send them back with him this trip – instead of waiting for the April and May trips, because we really don’t know at this point if he’ll make it out for those trips. Nothing is certain right now. State borders could be closed. We’d better not risk it, so he’s taking everything he can.

I joked to Allison that I guessed I’d be trying out minimalism sooner than I thought – capsule wardrobe and everything. Yep, pretty much.

And you know what the CDC said about limiting groups of 50 people? That’s right – church has been canceled, indefinitely. Yours probably has too.

And you know what Trump said about limiting groups of more than 10? That’s right. My bridal shower has been postponed. Indefinitely. Oh, and my friend Sam and I were supposed to go out to dinner. My parents weren’t comfortable with that a few days ago, so we decided not to, but I forgot to cancel the reservations.

The governor did that for me. Because restaurants in NC are closing tonight, at 5pm.

Our wedding planner said we needed a backup plan for the wedding. There’s a high chance we’ll be using plan B. Plan B looks nothing like Plan A does. Plan B looks like our parents, my grandparents, our 2-4 best friends.

When my friend Penelope said they hadn’t bought the plane tickets for her to come out to be in my wedding yet, because they were holed up in their house in Oregon, I freaked out. That was about two weeks ago.

We were sure things were going to blow over. Well? Now I’m not sure anyone will make it to the wedding. I don’t really care, all that much. In fact, I think that if we end up having to use Plan B, my mom is going to be more disappointed than I. I just want to marry Andrew, but I’m my parents’ only daughter, and they wanted me to have a big, beautiful wedding, and all the parties. Because weddings are something to be celebrated.

I guess we’ll see, won’t we. I don’t know what is going to happen in the next few weeks. But God is good, and God is in control, and even when I’m about to break down in tears because I’m not sure how to understand what is going on, He knows – and orchestrates – our future.

So I’m just going to keep remembering that, and I hope you will too.

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