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I’m here for the pain.

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I never used to know how many hurting people there were. I never used to look behind the smiles. Honestly, I never used to care.
I never used to know what it meant to love fiercely. To love fearlessly. Honestly? I’m still learning how to love fearlessly.

But God’s been opening my eyes. He’s opened my eyes to the pain, to the hurt, to the half-smiles and tired eyes. He’s brought me people who aren’t perfect. He’s showed me how to be here, for the pain.

It pains me to take your hurt and your sorrows. When your heart breaks, mine does too. When a part of you dies, so does a part of me.

Loving people comes at a price, and it’s not easy. Some days I withdraw so far into myself that I cannot love anyone for fear that their hurt will touch me and wrench my heart. But God pulls me out of that. Because He has called me to love fearlessly.

I will love you without any strings attached. I will listen to your sobs, and even if I cannot shed tears, my heart cries with you. I will sit there in the silence with you, not knowing what to say, but trusting that silence is enough. I will love you strongly and completely, with everything I have to give. Even if my heart is black and blue, even when I am so burdened from the pain that I carry. I promise I will be there.

And yet, I know my love is not enough. I give all I have, and it will never be enough. I give until my strength is gone, until I fear my love is gone, all given away. Giving away all my love is good. If I give it away, I will be more complete than if I kept it for myself.

My love will never be strong enough, no matter if I give it all away.

But I’m not here to be enough for you.

I’m here to point you to the One who will be enough. The One Who will love you more than I ever can, even when I’m giving my all. The One Who allows me to, through Him, truly give. Oh, don’t rest on me alone! I’ll never be enough for you, and I hope you know that. It is my greatest joy to point you to Him.

That’s what I’m here for. I’m just a firefly mimicking the Sun. My wings aren’t strong enough to bear all the burdens, and my light flickers faintly. I’ll never warm you with my love, but look to the Son, and He will.

This is my prayer: that on this earth, I will give my all; be complete in having no love left for myself. And that most of all, my flickering light will paint the way to the One True Light, Who will warm you and fill you completely with His love.

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