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Womanhood

I’m Not Wonder Woman (and neither are you)

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It’s time to stop deceiving ourselves. 

Someone recently figured out my personality type for me. I might expound more on this in the future, because I actually feel understood now, but there were a few things that stuck out to me. (I’m an INFJ, by the way.) First, people with my type tend to have many different creative interests and a problem choosing what to do. And secondly, they get burnt out often.

Both of those apply, and that’s dangerous. Why? Because I do have a very hard time choosing what to do, and generally, the way that pans out is I just go and do #allthethings.

I want to be successful at everything I love. Blogger. Photographer. Writer. Book reviewer. Fashionista. Homemaker. Wife. Pen pal. Theologian. Farmer. Friend. Artist. Singer. I want to do all of those and get married, raise a family, learn Greek, travel the US, own an Etsy shop, teach history, build a six-figure photography business, become a Nouthetic counselor, serve my church, play guitar well, found a women’s ministry…in no particular order.

I want to be successful at everything I love.

The list goes on and on. And the problem is? Potentially, I know I can be successful at any of those. That’s not being conceited – I’m simply being matter-of-fact. I have enough passion and talent for each of those. That’s just what is a part of being creative, and the drive comes from being a visionary entrepreneur.

However, I know for certain I can’t be successful at all of those things. Do I want to admit it? Nope. No, I want to keep lying to myself that I can be everything I want for everyone and make myself and everyone else happy. And when I push and push, and find that I haven’t got enough time to do everything, well then, the answer must be to wake up earlier. Stay up later. Dedicate my life to living it to the very fullest it possibly could be.

Can we truly find fulfillment from doing all the things?

The question is, can we truly find fulfillment from doing all the things? – or doing a few things and putting our entire heart and soul into them?

I’ve said goodbye to some of my dreams. And I’ve failed at other dreams. Failure is good for me. It helps me realize that I’m wasting time trying to do everything. I’m wasting time trying to be Wonder Woman, and I just can’t. I just don’t believe it’s possible to do everything we want to do in life and succeed at them all.

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I want to be passionate about living an intentional life. Not torn between a million interests. Is this hard for me? Very. I feel like I’m missing out on my fullest potential by giving things up. After all, to whom much is given, much will be required, right?

I want to be passionate about living an intentional life.

Just because God gave me a talent for singing and violin doesn’t mean I should become a professional vocalist or concertmistress of the symphony. Just because I enjoy writing and have written some pretty short stories doesn’t mean I should write a book.

You know what I think this means? I think it means I’ll be able to contribute to other people’s lives. I’m already doing that with violin. I don’t have a teaching studio, but I’m teaching one girl who loves it. Because I love history, writing, and art, when the opportunity arises, I’ll be able to instill a passion for those into others – be they my children or simply whoever God brings into my life. One day, because I know how to garden and take care of animals, I’ll be able to use that skill. One day, because I honed my skills of music, I’ll be able to serve my church or teach my children.

I think having many interests means I can help out others who may have one or two of the same interests. Just because I have skills doesn’t mean I should market them all.

My life goals are to glorify God, live out the Gospel, serve others, and invest fully into whatever I do.

My life goals are not to become a singer or counselor or writer or six-figure photographer or mom. My life goals are to glorify God, live out the Gospel, serve others, and invest fully into whatever I do.

That means I should give up some of my interests for later. And you know? That’s hard. But it’s good. I need to focus my efforts fully on what is most important now to achieve my life goals. And sometimes that means giving up.

If you’re a creative with many interests, I hope this helped you. I write this, not to boast about all my interests, but to encourage you to focus on your goals for your life. Where do you want to be in 20 years? in 40? in 60? Think about it now so you don’t waste time, energy, and money. What’s really important? Can you seriously invest fully if you’re doing all the things?

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20 Comments

  • Reply Allison

    Oh wow. *sigh* I can relate to this post 110%, probably partly because, as you already showed me, we have the same personality type! But ugh, I know all too well the feeling that I should do it all, that I can’t let whatever gifts or talents God has given me go to waste. And that’s true, in part! I do think that we should strive to use the talents God gives us to give back to him. But you’re absolutely right… I just can’t do everything well, even if I was good at everything, if that makes sense. The hard part is figuring out *which* talents you should pursue and which ones you should put on the back burner. *sigh* That is wisdom I don’t have yet, wisdom I seek earnestly, and wisdom I know God will reveal to me in His time.
    Thank you for this post, dear. It’s the hardest one I’ve read in a while, but it was so, so good. *hugs*

    October 16, 2019 at 10:51 am
    • Reply Aria

      *sighs with you* I knoooow. Right, right. UGH, IT’S SO HARD. I wish I could come up with an easy solution. I generally look at what is needed now and develop that, and look at the motivation behind why I want to develop something else. You’re so welcome, my friend. *hugs back*

      October 16, 2019 at 12:32 pm
  • Reply Maddison Merriman

    Wow, I relate to this on SO many levels. I am always trying to do ALL THE THINGS–and it just doesn’t work. And I get discouraged and feel like a horrible person. But it’s not because I lack the motivation or talents, it’s because I’M HUMAN. Accepting that fact is hard. ESPECIALLY when you are an INFJ. (As I am. I have posts about INFJs, and would LOVE to discuss INFJs further if you ever want to! I know how alone it can feel, being an INFJ 😉 I actually just wrote something along these lines- if you would like, I can share it. :) Thank you! <3

    October 16, 2019 at 11:44 am
    • Reply Aria

      Ah wow. RIGHT! Yes, I totally know how that is. (I’m reading your posts, and I would love to talk about it if you want to – send me an email, Maddi!) I’m so glad this resonated with you.

      October 16, 2019 at 12:31 pm
      • Reply Maddison Merriman

        Ok, I just sent it and am looking forward to hearing back from you! And I totally recommend the book Reading People–VERY thought-provoking and gorgeous design!

        October 16, 2019 at 1:10 pm
        • Reply Aria

          Thanks, I’ll add it to my reading list!

          October 16, 2019 at 6:59 pm
  • Reply Cailyn

    Wow, this was a great post, Aria. Very powerful, yet vulnerably honest and sincere. I’m a lot like that – I’ll have a great idea for something, then get burnt out. Not a fun place to be.
    Thank you for sharing this! (Btw, how do you find out your personality type?)

    October 16, 2019 at 11:48 am
    • Reply Aria

      Thank you so much, Cailyn! Yeah, I know. :/ (You can take a Myers-Briggs personality type test, either a paid one or a free one. https://16personalities.com is a good one, but because my type is full of paradoxes and so rare, I got a different answer every time! Therefore, someone else figured it out and someone how got me perfectly.)

      October 16, 2019 at 12:29 pm
  • Reply Natalie

    This is just what I needed to hear today! My personality type is similar to yours. So are my interests. I’m a creative soul. But I can’t do everything. You’ve helped me to focus on what is truly important.

    October 16, 2019 at 12:21 pm
    • Reply Aria

      I’m so glad this was helpful, Natalie! <3

      October 16, 2019 at 12:34 pm
  • Reply Isabel

    Oh my goodness, this is so, so relatable! I always feel like I have a million tiny interests pulling me in different directions, and I often end just turning in circles and not accomplishing anything 😒 Thanks for this post, Aria!

    October 16, 2019 at 1:14 pm
    • Reply Aria

      Yeeeesss, I know how that is! Thank you for reading, Isabel!

      October 16, 2019 at 1:58 pm
  • Reply Sassafras

    This post made me think, because like you, I have so many different interests, and I want to spend time developing skills in each of them (gardening, photography, drawing, graphic design, singing, playing violin, etc.). The problem is that I don’t know on which disciplines I should focus, especially because I still don’t know exactly what type of work I’d like to do when I finish college.

    How did you decide what interests to give up for now? What does that look like in your life? Does giving up things mean not doing them at all, or just not dedicating a lot of time specifically to them? Thanks for this thoughtful post!

    October 16, 2019 at 1:37 pm
    • Reply Aria

      AHHH I know how that is! I basically look at what is needed or especially worthwhile now and develop that, and look at the motivation behind why I want to develop something else. Sometimes my motivation is pretty stupid! For example, I started reviewing books just so I could get free books, instead of spending my time reading deeper books that would actually give me something to think about. I gave up voice and violin at a time when if I went any further, it would be a waste of time and money because I wasn’t going to be a professional musician. I stopped writing a book because I really only wanted to write a book so I could say that I did. I’m about to close my Etsy shop because it was a useless pursuit – I can’t make it successful because of other things in my life. I generally look at the top priorities in my life – God, family, friends, and my photography business and decide where my interests fit. Some things, like art and violin, fit into the friends category, because I can do art for friends to brighten their day and teach violin to invest in someone else. This is a really long ramble, but I hope it helped somewhat! If you have any more questions that I didn’t really answer, feel free to email me instead.

      October 16, 2019 at 2:04 pm
  • Reply Hannah

    Eeep, this is so relatable Aria! I have a similar personality type – I like to do everything and live up to everyone’s expectations and ideas about what I should do. I really admire the way you sorted it all out, thinking of what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be in the future, and building from there. ❤

    October 16, 2019 at 4:52 pm
    • Reply Aria

      Yeah, pretty much! Thanks for reading, Hannah!

      October 16, 2019 at 6:56 pm
  • Reply Kiara

    I have that personality type too. What does that mean by the way??? I’m confused.

    October 16, 2019 at 4:55 pm
    • Reply Aria

      Yeah, it is confusing! Personality types are basically how different people make decisions, interact with people, experience emotions, and how it affects them. It’s pretty neat! You can learn more on 16personalities.com.

      October 16, 2019 at 6:57 pm
  • Reply Sarah

    although i’m an INFP and not an INFJ, i sorta relate to this. i do have music as my priority, because that’s something i want to become professional at, but i have so many hobbies as well (art, writing, blogging, photography, spoken word, film making, blablabla) and i honestly enjoy them all. but i often confuse people over what i want to do with my life and recently i’ve been confusing myself. it’s really making me wonder what God wants me to do, and i don’t know anymore. i have given up some old dreams tho, i gave up craft quite a while back because i realized i wasn’t even intending to do anything with it! (but all my *many* supplies came in handy in the end when i started snail mail.. so that worked out alright XD). i think sometimes i need to slow down instead of starting things off on a wham. but anyway, i’m starting to ramble, thank you for this post, aria! i kinda needed it. <3

    October 16, 2019 at 9:49 pm
    • Reply Aria

      Oh Sarah, you’re so welcome! I 100% know what this feels like. <3 So glad this resonated with you!

      October 17, 2019 at 9:14 am

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